Power metal \m/
Image by jonanamary
Reminds me of my favourite old joke about the different kinds of metal:
The princess is stuck in a big castle guarded by a dragon!
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). They all leave … without the princess.
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving. Aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh!
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomises the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That’s the end of the sad story.
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess’ bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the ”HEAVY METAL” protagonist.
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy’s appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess’ make-up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink color.
The protagonist arrives in a run-down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
The tiny, beautiful protagonist arrives and is raped by the princess right away. The dragon feels sympathy, eats the princess and rapes the protagonist … then eats him, then a bunch of screaming other princesses arrive and kill the dragon because of their pain at losing the protagonist.
The protagonist swings his feet and arms about wildly, accidentally knocking the dragon out. Then he storms off in anger because someone messed up his dance routine.
A person of questionable gender arrives, the dragon kills himself listening to the ensuing moaning about how life sucks and no one loves him. The protagonist then attempts to top himself while posting about it on MySpace.